Note: I STILL don’t own Marvel. Never have, probably never will. Instead, I’m just stealing their characters, altering them randomly, and having my own fun with it. Legal issues aside, enjoy this for what it is: a bit of fluff with no qualms about trying to encourage equality and tolerance in the world. Yeah, also, I’ve changed some genders and names with it. Deal with it.
Written by: Arachnophobe
Oni had resolved himself to making a dream of his come true. Sure, Piotr was fairly new to the team and had just broken up with Kit, and that their friendship was tentative at best, but Oni threw caution to the wind, or in his case summoned a wind to carry caution away. Oni wasn’t exactly sure what Piotr liked, and considering how much he was making, if the Big C didn’t eat it, someone around there would.
Oni went about making some waffles, frying some bacon, and baking some biscuits. The fridge was already stocked with various jams and jellies that the rest of the team could slather on their bread, but he sensed that Piotr have a bit of a sweet-tooth last night. The first person down for breakfast was Cyclops. She looked pouty behind her red shades, and when she saw what Storm was cooking, abruptly turned tail and gave a sniff of contempt and disapproval. The others drifted in and out of the kitchen, making small talk. Kit even flitted through the wall, grabbed a yogurt from the fridge without opening the door, slid his hand through the drawer grabbing a spoon, and disappeared through the same wall again. Oni didn’t particularly hate Kit, it was just a general dislike for the guy. He was cocky, snotty, and not particularly kind in his ways. He also was a bit of a tech geek and looked down at you if you had anything other than the newest and greatest smartphone.
Regardless, Oni went back to his breakfast preparations. Soon, the rest of the non-early risers had made their way down to the kitchen. Not everyone ate in the morning hours, but dinner was a mandatory assembly. If they weren’t off saving the world, that is. The Professor said that they were a family in many ways, and in modern family speak it meant: the family that eats together stays together. It kinda worked for a while. They still ate, but Wolverine went off on her solo adventures and Henrietta and Warren went off on their Avengers and Defenders kick occasionally.
As the few stragglers sampled the cuisine, Oni’s attention was diverted as Piotr entered the room. The tall, burly man filled a doorway. Literally. You couldn’t get through if he was coming your way. His stomach wasn’t rounded out like it was the night before. Apparently the late night binge had subsided, and his stomach was no longer rounded out. This morning, much to Oni’s chagrin, it was covered in a gray tank top and hoodie. Oni felt his eyes linger on Piotr’s stomach, and when he returned to look at Colossus’ face, he found that the Russian’s eyes were on him as well. Oni quickly turned around, began to dish out food, and brought a heaping plate over to his teammate.
“I figured you might be hungry,” Oni said with a smile.
“I should probably decline,” Piotr put up a hand, stopped the plate, and then looked at Oni. Oni felt his pants begin to tighten, and then Piotr smiled wryly and took the plate. “Okay, what could it hurt?”
After a third plate of food, the only remaining people were Oni and Piotr. Oni’s took to washing the dishes just to pass the time, while Piotr would rise from the table, refill his plate, and then return. By the end of the fourth return meal, Piotr pushed away his empty plate, burped behind a closed fist, and exhaled contentedly.
“You would have made a good wife,” Piotr joked.
“I think I’m lacking the equipment for that job,” Oni smirked and he scooped up the plate. As he walked away, Piotr grasped Oni’s forearm.
“I appreciate our conversation last night,” the Russian smiled, and his face literally lit up. “It was a good chat.”
Slightly taken back by the tenderness of the comment, Oni merely nodded and smiled back.
“You are a good man, Oni,” Piotr said with his thick accent.
“Thanks, I try,” Oni said as he rinsed off the dish and stuck it in the dishwasher.
“No,” Piotr stood up and walked over to his teammate. “I mean that you are a good man. Strong and sure. Firm footed.”
Oni would have agreed to whatever Piotr was saying at that moment because his eyes were trailing the definite curvature of Piotr’s stomach now that he had gorged himself on food.
“You like what you see, yes?” Piotr put his hands on his hips with another slightly cocky grin on his face.
“Yeah—but—what?” Oni stammered.
“I have seen you staring before,” Piotr raised an eyebrow, “I did not take offense. Kit, well, he was not so happy.”
“Yeah, well, I didn’t…”
“Do not apologize.”
“Oh, I wasn’t,” Oni smiled, “I mean I just wanted to respect what you had.”
“Which makes you more of a man,” Piotr said as he walked closer, “You have respect.”
Oni’s blood pressure was up, as were many other things as the behemoth of a man came sauntering ever closer, step by step. Inch by inch, the dark, musky smell of Piotr began to fill Oni’s nostrils. His heart was racing and he could feel the room become larger and more expansive as his eyes focused only on the much taller man with the round pouty lips come closer. He could hear the heartbeat of the massive man, and as Oni’s eyes turned white, the clouds shifted, blowing in a torrential rain, full of passion and ferocity.
Either Oni was becoming more aroused or Piotr was actually doing what he thought he was. Because as Colossus came closer to Oni, he would have sworn that he saw the fabric both around Piotr’s stomach and around Piotr’s crotch were getting tighter and being pushed outward.
“Colossus, Storm” Cyclops had quickly entered the room, interrupting what wonderful interlude that could have had, “we’ve got an emergency. Apparently the Sisterhood of Evil Mutants is attacking Staten Island. Let’s scramble and move out, I’ll brief you on the way. I want you in costume and in the hanger in five. Let’s go!”
Piotr was gone in a flash, and Oni was left standing there with a tent pitched in his sweats, and a swelling amount of dislike surging in his stomach toward Cyclops.
Even with his winds to blow him through the school (having accidentally blown some of them out earlier), he wasn’t able to catch up with Colossus in the men’s locker room. His locker stood open and his sleep clothes were stashed aside haphazardly. As Oni grabs his black garb, he noticed that were no underwear inside Colossus’ sweats and he briefly wondered if the beefy mountain of a man went commando in his uniform. The idea distracted Oni briefly, which led him to cursing at himself later for being so bothered by how his uniform wouldn’t fit him. It wasn’t that Oni was out of shape, but that his rock hard cock kept his pants from zipping.
He flew to the hanger thinking negative and unappealing thoughts (Cyclops naked with her small boobs standing erect, Nightcrawler and her cloven hands stroking her fuzzy blue skin), and by the time he arrived at the loading bay area, he was able to safely zip himself into his outfit.
The briefing was boring as usual. Even the thought of getting into a scuffle to release some built up sexual tension was drained of its appeal as Cyclops went over and over the scenario aloud while piloting the aircraft. Colossus was in the seat in front of Oni, and he couldn’t see his stocky dream man. But from the look of his hair, Colossus was in full on battle mode, steel skin and impenetrable body.
…. Hard skin… hard body…
Oni quickly placed his arms in his lap as gently as he could. He didn’t understand what was appealing about Colossus all of a sudden. Sure he’d seen this guy naked a hundred times in the locker room after missions. Yes, Oni had fantasized about him. Sure, he even helped him out of his gear one time after a nasty battle with Magneto, had left him in a painful steel skinned mode for a few days. There was nothing new.
Except the eating. The idea of Colossus getting fatter. Sure, he knew he liked fatter men. In fact, one of the many recurring fantasies he had was of Henrietta cooking up a cure in her lab about curing mutants of their physical deformities, and having her try it on Piotr, who then become a larger than life man. He liked that idea a lot. But it was just fantasy. Piotr was a friend, and was a guy who was dating Kit. But now…
The plane lurched a bit as the hull creaked loudly.
“PIOTR!” Oni screamed as the metal man was pulled to the side of the hull and then pulled through the other side. Magneto was present with this newest incarnation of the Sisterhood. The cabin pressure was destabilized and the plane lurched downward. Oni, who unbuckled his seatbelt faster than lightning, was able to pull the winds around the plane quickly, causing to a swerve slightly.
“STORM!” Cyclops screamed, “We need you to—“
“They’ve got Piotr!” Oni yelled back.
“I’m aware, we need you to help keep up in the air until I can—“
“Fine!” Oni yelled back. He was torn. The wind shear coming in from the punched outline of Colossus was blasting the rest of them around, and he tried to calm it as best as he could. His mutant gift of weather manipulation was being taxed. If he had the time to really think about it, he found that he was split down the middle: to save Piotr or the rest of his team. He knew Cyclops was right, but…
… what if he could have saved Gene? Would he have given a damn about the rest of the team? He knew that his feelings for Piotr were purely barely above a physical level at this moment, and it wasn’t anything to compare to the love Cyclops had for Gene, but he had to do something.
“Hang onto something,” Oni said while his snow white eyes seemed to lose focus. The sky became gray, and for a split second the clouds began to swirl indistinctly.
Looking about the cabin, Storm was happy to see that Icegirl was here to lend a hand. Storm gestured to the hole in the hull, and Bobbi seemed to get the gist. Within seconds, Oni leapt from the barely stable plane, and behind him came the crackling of a barely formed ice wall.
Adrift in the sky, Storm began to command the winds to help guide Cyclops and the other X-Men to safety, while he summoned a nasty looking twister to strike the ground below. He didn’t want to use lethal lightning as in his metal form, Colossus made for an amazing conductor of electricity.
He knew he couldn’t engage with the Sisterhood so brazenly, but the X-Men were already descending carefully to the ground. Taking barely a split second to decide, Oni was soaring down toward where he saw Colossus fall. The wind no longer burned his eyes or made them water, he wondered subconsciously at times whether that too was part of his mutation. As he came closer to the devastation of the small cyclone, he saw Toad lying unconscious with Mystique and Avalanche groaning and moaning incoherently. Only Magneto stood aside victoriously, holding onto Colossus in a magnetic sphere. Her helmet was secured to her head, and she stood with a haughty demeanor, with her sallow cheeks never having ever filled in after her traumatic time in those dreaded Nazi camps.
“So, you have abandoned your teammates?” Magneto smirked callously.
“No, I waited until I knew they were safe, and—“
“Safe from whom?” Magneto smiled.
Just then the ground began to thud and from the dust of debris, Blob and Juggernaut appeared.
“Ooo!” Blob chuckled, “Got the tasty brown one for desert. Maybe the can opener over there will help pop this one’s cherry.”
Oni raised his hand, and the sky lit up as lightning streaked downward.
But Magneto had reacted a moment sooner, hurling Colossus at Oni, rendering him unable to finish his command. Lightning struck out of control, peppering the earth with small bursts of energy. When a few hit the Blob, he chuckled, and jostled his belly.
The two gargantuan henchmen came over to Colossus and Storm. Magneto lifted the metal skinned man from the barely conscious weather sorcerer.
“You X-Men have always been fools,” Magneto monologued, “you profess to know the true meaning of strife and you live in a mansion. You spout off about oppression and yet you fight those who have different views than your own. You scream about injustice and—“
A streak of crimson energy shot at Magneto, knocking off his helmet.
“And you just don’t know when to shut up!” Cyclops said as Nightcrawler, Icegirl, Banshee, and Beast bounded into action. “Nightcrawler, get Colossus back to the plane. Beast, you check on Storm. Banshee, see if you and Icegirl can take down Juggernaut. Leave Mags and Tubbo for me.”
With Magneto unable to focus, Nightcrawler did his duty and got Colossus as far away as possible. Oni watched as the others fought bravely. Henrietta was saying something, but all Oni could hear was a dull ringing in his ears that grew with intensity. The smell of sulfur filled his nostrils, and with that little jaunt through the dark realm that Nightcrawler moved through, Oni arrived next to the plane with Wolverine checking on Colossus. He knew that her metal skeleton would only prove to be a hindrance in this situation, and he could see her practically chomping at the bit. When Kari sent Oni down, she ‘bamfed’ away to join the battle. Wolverine walked over to Oni, shook her head, and that was the last thing Oni saw that day.
A few days later, after the wounds had healed (a few broken ribs and mild concussion for Oni, and the inability to revert from metal form for a few days for Piotr) and the stern lectures were given, everything was back to normal around the X-Mansion. Piotr was given a few weeks of bed rest and was excused from training and missions, which there were none.
Oni was on probations for directly disobeying orders, so that meant DOUBLE training and removal from missions. That meant that Colossus was forced to do nothing but mill about the mansion and wait while the other could go to Salem Center and listen to music, shop, and just generally be kids. One night after his longest session in the Danger Room, Oni skulked out into the foyer to be greeted by a hulking form. The soft chest and even softer middle alarmed Oni for a second, whose eyes had been on the floor from exhaustion. He looked up to see the slightly scrubby face of Colossus, who was squeezed into a tank top covered in a hoodie, and a pair of super tight blue jeans with a black belt.
“Pete,” Oni had started calling his friend by a more Americanized nickname as Piotr had suggested, “what are you doing out here?”
“This is still a public foyer, yes?” Piotr smiled.
“I guess so,” Oni shrugged, but he still managed a small smile for the man of his dreams.
“I was wondering why I have not seen you in our late night rendezvous.”
“The kitchen?” Oni chuckled to himself, “Well, Cyke has me on double training sessions so I’m kinda swamped.”
“But not swamped enough to make a dessert, I see.”
Oni felt his cheeks warm. Pete was obviously referring to the cake he had made yesterday afternoon when the place was empty and the team in the War Room for a briefing about a possible take-down of Mastermind and his ring of sex slaves out in California. Oni had not been a part of it due to his probationary status. In hopes that Piotr’s sweet tooth would have led him to the dessert in the fridge, Oni made a cake to resemble a rather large, tiered Twinkie.
“It looks delicious,” Piotr said softly. “Would you care to join me for a little snack?”
“Pete,” Oni sighed heavily, “I’m not really hungry.”
Piotr stopped in his tracks and turned to look at Oni on his way to the kitchen. “I thought you might enjoy watching me eat more.” Piotr removed his hoodie to show Oni how tight his tank top had gotten. His once shelf-like pecs are getting softer on the underside, and his nipples had become slightly puffy. The white fabric was stretched to near transparency over his growing belly, which had now spawned a set of curvaceous and tasty looking love-handles.
Oni suddenly felt like dessert.
Once in the kitchen, the mutant known as Storm removed his sweaty track jacket and stood bare-chested as Piotr retrieved the cake from the refrigerator. Piotr sat down with gusto and began to devour the tasty treat. Oni stuck his hands down in his pockets to hide his growing erection. Piotr looked up with a bite of cream on his bottom lip, swallowed his mouthful, and smiled.
“If I must be your entertainment for tonight, do not hide your excitement for me,” Piotr said gruffly.
“Pete, I’m happy you—“
“No, I want to see you get happy,” He pointed his caked-laden fork at Oni’s crotch. “I’m growing, why shouldn’t you?”
As Oni was watching as Piotr demolished the Twinkie style cake he made, he let his throbbing cock stand at full attention making his semi-tight work out pants become a tent. Yeah, it was a bit of a confectionary nightmare, what with all the cream, the yellow cake mix, the actual mixing and baking, but watching Piotr’s eyes light up like Christmas morning that made it all worth it. The heavy pastry delight was nearing the end of its disappearing act, when Piotr set his fork down and let out a sigh of contentedness.
“Comrade,” he said as he chewed his last mouthful, “it was too good. But I cannot finish it.”
“You’ve got maybe five, six bites left,” Oni said encouragingly.
“But that is five or six bites too many,” Piotr was now resting his forearms on the table and his head was hanging from his shoulders like a heavy ripe fruit. “You have bested my… my appetite.”
“Somehow, I doubt that,” Oni launched himself off the counter in a spritely manner, and was next to Piotr in a flash. What he saw there surprised him greatly. Beneath the edge of the table sat in all its splendor, Piotr’s growing midsection. The tight v-neck t-shirt that only emphasized his rounded out pecs covered in their forest of chest hair was now rising above a belly that was pushing out a straining belt over a pair of tight denim jeans. Piotr saw Oni and gave a slight smirk.
“Your meals are beginning to affect my clothink,” Piotr said deeply.
“Pete, I have to say—“
“Say nothing,” he said gruffly as he put his knuckle under Oni’s chin, “If you want me to finish, you must make me.”
Oni could stand it no longer. He quickly scooted the long bar of a table aside, and his pick-pocket training was able to not only unbuckle Piotr’s belt but undo his tightening jeans as well in a manner of seconds. Pete’s belly surged forward, causing Piotr to exclaim in a deep sigh a Russian phrase Oni couldn’t understand. He then straddled his growing teammate, cake covered fork in hand, and fed him.
Oni knew that the first bite would lead to many, many more…
Tomorrow we’ll be hosting two friends for the podcast interviews, and as the encourager of the duo, I couldn’t pass up the opportunity to cook for a group. I get great pleasure from entertaining (with food).
The menu includes:
Brined, roasted, and stuffed hens.
Garlic mashed potatoes
French Apple Cobbler with French vanilla ice cream
I figured I’d share the recipes for these items.
The chicken first needs to be brined and left in a plastic bag over night.
Combine and dissolve these ingredients in a larger pot:
1 gallon of warm water
3/4 cup Kosher salt
1/4 cup Safron Adobo
3/4 cup Low Sodium Soy Sauce
1/2 cup sugar
1/4 cup olive oil
Place whole chicken(s) in an over bag and pour brine over the chicken. Tie bag off and place the bag in a pan and let sit over night in a refrigerator.
2 boxes of Stove Top Chicken flavor
1 lb ground tukey
2 carrots, washed, peeled, and chopped
2 stalks celery, washed, and chopped
2 cups of mushrooms of your choice
1 granny smith apple, washed, peeled, and chopped
Make the stove top according to directions on the box. Brown the ground turkey and dump only half of the runoff. Add the vegetables, apple, and mushrooms to the ground turkey and sautee until the carrots apple and celery are soft. Mix the runoff, ground turkey, apple, vegetables, and mushrooms into the stuffing.
Stuffing and roasting the chickens:
Preheat your oven to 350 degrees. Remove chicken(s) from brine bag and place them in a pan. With a gloved hand, stuff the open cavity with stuffing and place them back into the pan. Pour brine over the stuffed chickens until they sit in one inch on brine. Place in the oven for an hour and a half or until the chickens’ skin is a deep brown.
1 pound broccoli rinsed and trimmed
2 tablespoons olive oil
2 cloves garlic minced
1/2 teaspoon kosher salt
1/4 teaspoon ground black pepper
1/3 cup panko bread crumbs
1/4 cup finely grated Parmesan
Cut the broccoli florets into bite size pieces. Cut the stalk into 1/8-inch thick, round slices. Place the broccoli into a mixing bowl and toss with the olive oil, garlic, kosher salt and pepper and set aside.
Spread the panko into a 13 by 9-inch metal cake pan and place into the oven for 2 minutes or until lightly toasted. Remove the panko from the oven and add to the bowl with the broccoli mixture. Toss to combine. Return the mixture to the cake pan, place in the oven and roast just until the broccoli is tender, 8 to 10 more minutes. Remove from the oven, toss in the cheese and serve immediately.
Garlic Mashed Potatoes:
6 cloves of garlic, chopped
1 stick of unsalted butter
6-8 large idaho potatoes
1-1 1/2 cups milk
Wash and peel the potatoes and boil them until soft. Chop garlic and and sauté with 1/2 the stick of butter until the garlic is golden brown. After the potatoes are soft, mash them and add the garlic, other half of the butter, and milk. Whip with a mixer until lumps are very few. Add salt and pepper to taste.
French Apple Cobbler:
5 cups granny smith apples, chopped
3/4 cup sugar
2 tbs flour
1/2 tsp cinnamon
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
1/4 cup water
1 tbs softened butter
1/2 cup all purpose flour sifted
1/2 cup sugar
1/2 teaspoon baking powder
2 tbs softened butter
1 egg, slightly beaten
Preheat oven to 375 degrees. In a medium bowl, combine apples, 3/4 cup sugar, 2 tablespoons flour, cinnamon, 1/4 teaspoon salt, vanilla and water. Turn into a lightly buttered 9-inch square pan. Dot apples with 1 tablespoon butter.
Combine all topping ingredients. Beat with wooden spoon until batter is smooth. Drop batter in 9 portions, over the apples, spacing evenly. Batter will spread during baking. Bake 35 to 40 minutes at 375° or until apples are tender and crust is golden brown. Serve warm with cream or ice cream.
*And there you have dinner, just make sure to space out and time your dishes and you’ll be golden.
Note: I don’t own Marvel. Never have, probably never will. Instead, I’m just stealing their characters, altering them randomly, and having my own fun with it. Legal issues aside, enjoy this for what it is: a bit of fluff with no qualms about trying to encourage equality and tolerance in the world. Yeah, also, I’ve changed some genders and names with it. Deal with it.
Written by: Arachnophobe
The overcast day had been preceded by another pointless fight with the Hellfire Club. They had been spouting on and on about “mutant supremacy” and how they were going to use their powers to overrun the planet with wealthy rich socialites or something. Oni didn’t care. To him it sounded like they had deluded themselves with Paris Hilton wannabes whose biggest power score was some kind of toxic spit and the ability to turn into a Chihuahua. A few cloud-to-ground lightning bolts and the little creature piddled on the floor and ran back into its Hermes bag. It almost went south when Kit decided he wanted to be fickle and steal the show at the same time. That little bi-curious sprite flitted between the walls, ran through some Hellfire goons, and managed to incapacitate two of them. Cyclops nearly busted a vein in her head she saw how Wolverine was clobbering that android Donna Pierce. Wolvie had been a bit of a loose cannon these days, especially after Gene died, and Oni could sympathize. Wolverine wasn’t the strongest girl at hiding her emotions. She smoked, she drank, but for the most part, when she was truly hurting she just did those things more. So Oni knew, when you saw Wolverine drinking a few extra beers at dinner, it was best not to tell her that Cyclops was ordering a few more hours in the Danger Room. As a matter of fact, it wasn’t good to tell her anything about Cyclops these days.
So to avoid all the strife, the animosity, and just general angst that seemed to follow the X-Men everywhere, Oni, the mutant known as Storm, had pulled the jet streams into his favor and flown himself up to one of the taller pine trees surrounding the X-estate. Their latest escapades and battles had really toned themselves down after the Dark Phoenix thing. Gene becoming this cosmic force, and nearly killing everyone in the known the galaxy was a bit hard to grasp. Gene had been Oni’s best friend. Well, next to Wolverine…
Kit was doing his usual angst-ridden melodrama with Piotr today. They were doing their usual screaming match by the pool in the back yard. Oni didn’t understand what the big deal was. Kit was bi, and tended to jump between girls and guys about as often as Oni changed his socks. Piotr was better than that, and was basically so straight he’d come around to being gay again. Piotr wasn’t above yelling back at Kit, but some of the things that were coming out the little Shadowcat’s mouth were appalling.
“…don’t act like I have noticed, Pete,” Kit yelled.
“I am surprised by that,” Piotr snapped back. “You who notice so little.”
“What’s with the accent, butterball,” Kit said as he walked through Piotr to get to the back door, “it always gets thicker when you’re angry. Do you miss, Mother Country?”
“Do not walk away from me!” Piotr snapped. “I am not finished.”
“Listen, chunky,” Kit was jabbing his finger at something, but from his angle Oni couldn’t see what, “I’m sick of this. We’re through. Jeez! You’ve got enough baggage to turn any man back onto women.” And with that Kit disappeared through the solid wall.
Piotr turned on his feet, rapidly changed to his steel form, and smashed the ground with his fists, creating a large crater and sending splashing ripples through the water in the pool. He began to walk away in a huff, muttering some Russian under his breath, when he spotted Storm sitting in the top of a nearby tree.
“Did you enjoy your spectacle?” Piotr gestured toward where Kit once stood and the massive destruction to the concrete patio.
Oni summoned some winds to carry him down from the tree, where he stood a few feet away from Piotr. “Don’t get snappy with me, Tin Man,” Oni used the term that Wolverine had coined so easily, “I was up there long before you and your boyfriend decided to have your lover’s—“
“He is not…”
“Is not what?” Oni asked.
“My… boyfriend,” Piotr slowly shifted out of his metal form. “He is a mistake. A flake.”
“Okay, and you didn’t notice this before?” Oni asked with a raised eyebrow.
“He has… changed. Before he was different, but now…” Piotr looked away and then back at Oni, “Why do you care? I thought you were dating that red-head, Gene.”
“Me? And Gene? God, no! Gene was straight. Had this whole tawdry affair with Cyke and Wolverine.”
“I apologize,” Piotr said in his thick voice, and he suddenly straightened himself up, “but you did not comment on that disturbance.”
“What? Between you and Kit?” Oni shrugged, “Why should I? Kit is kinda young in my opinion. I mean he’s like what fourteen, fifteen.”
“He is of age!” Piotr said defensively.
“It was a joke,” Oni held up his hands to show he meant no ill will, “I was just trying to break the tension.”
“It is not required,” Piotr began to walk away, “I apologize again for that.”
Piotr disappeared into the forest line and soon the sound of heavy footfall echoed through the woods. Oni only assumed that Piotr had turned back into his metal form.
The passing weeks resulted in a few more attacks. Sentinels, alien attacks, brushings with the Avengers and the Fantastic Four (that Joanie Storm was such a flirt, and constantly barked up the wrong trees). But mostly things at the X-Mansion went on as usual. With one minor change.
Piotr had taken to scrounging around the kitchen late at night. One evening after a particularly nasty thunderstorm rolled through the area, Oni had traipsed down from his attic room to smell the autumn air in its fresh, cool, clean scent, and he saw through the main foyer a light was spilling into the hall leading to the dining hall.
Using the wind to cushion his footfall, Oni snuck down the hall. Had it been Wolverine, he knew the Canadian woman would have shouted some obscenity for him to keep away while she nursed a bottle of beer. As Oni rounded the corner, there stood Colossus, hunchbacked, and munching quietly.
Flipping on the light quickly, Oni watched as every sinewy muscle in Piotr’s back tightened. Instead of righting himself quickly, he slowly raised himself to his full six foot, six inch height and readjusted his sweatpants. He turned his head so minutely that the muscles must have strained to the snapping point. “Mmmyes?” Piotr said through a mouth, full of food.
“Midnight munchies?” Oni asked, leaning in the door frame. “You know if you put on so much as an ounce, Cyke’s gonna tear your head off over morning coffee.” Looking thoughtful, Oni looked at the ceiling. “I think that’s the only thing Cyke allows us to have is caffeine, which might explain why her butt is so tight you could shove in coal and get a diamond out twelve hours later.”
As Piotr quietly moved around to the island, with a mound of chocolate bars, Twinkies, and a gallon of ice cream in his arms, Oni noticed that the once cut abs of his teammate had softened a bit. Surely not as much as could be noticed in his uniform, but enough that his sweats were pushed down ever so slightly, giving a sneak peek of the thick treasure trail of hair that lead down into the deep—
“Can I help you, comrade?” Piotr interrupted.
Oni brought his eyes up quickly Piotr’s burgeoning waistline, “Huh-wha?”
“You came in here and startled me.”
“I couldn’t sleep during the storm so I got up.”
“That is odd,” Piotr said as he pulled off the lid of the ice cream and dug in with a large spoon.
“What’s odd?” Oni said, pulling a barstool and sitting opposite of the hulking Russian.
“That you are frightened of the weather,” Colossus chugged down the mouthful of ice cream, and smirked.
“Who said I was scared?”
“Well,” Oni said with a rival smirk, “I wasn’t. I like naturally occurring thunderstorms. It’s very refreshing.” Oni dipped one finger into the ice cream and dabbed it on Piotr’s nose, “So what’s with the late night eating, Big C?”
“I was hungry,” Piotr wiped the dessert from his nose with a gruff finger. “I find that I am sometimes awake during the night thinking it is day.”
“And why is that?”
“Where I am from, this time of year it is nearly dark all day.”
“In Cairo, we didn’t have a lot of long storms like that, that is,” Oni pulled a Snickers bar from the bag of candy, “until I showed up. Then, when I got mad or sad or what have you, it rained.”
“Why do you not have accent?” Piotr said as he scarfed down a cookie.
“The Professor,” Oni shrugged, “I didn’t speak a lick of English. The Prof she just downloaded a whole slew of terms and language and junk, and voila! No accent.”
“Why did she not do that for me, I vonder.”
“You spoke English before, yeah?” Oni raised an eyebrow and gestured with his candy bar.
“Yes, some.” Piotr was plowing through the ice cream like a human snow plow.
“I didn’t speak any.” Oni crumpled up the small wrapper, and skidded it to one side. “And considering he brought Bobbi along and all she speaks is imitation Valley Girl, I kind of got the youth of her language but the wisdom of the Professor.”
“She can do that?”
“I guess with telepaths, anything is possible.”
For a few minutes they sat in awkward silence, while Colossus continued his late night binge. Finally, Oni piped up.
“So what’s with the gorge-fest?”
“I am… unhappy.”
“I miss my family,” Piotr shrugged, “I miss my country. And I miss good wrestling matches on television.” He seemed to perk up. “All zese men on the television are not wrestlers but pale imitations. They do not have chest hair, as my father would say.”
“Chest hair, huh?” Oni readjusted his shirt, pulling down the v-neck of his cotton t-shirt, “Like this?”
“That is a barely a tuft of fur,” Piotr chuckled. He gripped his fingers in the soft shiny coat of hair in between his sizeable pecs and tugged gently. “This is chest hair. Manly men. I miss seeing them. Everyone in America is so concerned with appearance. Not like you.”
“Me?” Oni looked shaken slightly. “I like how I look.”
“Exactly! Take Kit for example. So unsure about his sex. Vomen, men, vomen, men. And he is frail.”
“No chest hair?” Oni inquired playfully.
“He shaves it,” Piotr shuddered. “Idiot boy.”
“So is that why you’re eating your feelings here?”
“I am not eating my feelings,” Piotr acted like Oni had insulted him. “I am hungry. Cyclops keeps us on this diet of rabbit food. In Russia, you have it, you eat it.”
“Well, if you keep that up,” Oni pushed back from the island and stretched slightly, “you’ll be bigger and manlier than you were when you came here.”
“Would that be such a bad thing?” Piotr lifted the carton of ice cream and scooped the rest of it into his mouth.
Oni felt the stirring in his crotch as he watched the Russian chugging down the melted remnants, and briefly imagined his steal skinned teammate, heavier, larger, and nearly bursting out of his costume. Within seconds, Oni had to shove his hands into his sweat pants pockets to cover his growing arousal.
The mutant known as Storm excused himself and quickly flew to his attic bedroom before the Ruskie could notice his dark skinned teammate was gone. Once in his room, Oni relieved himself of his burgeoning tightness in his underwear all the while imagining Colossus becoming larger and larger…
… the following morning after two more late night rounds of pleasure seeking, Oni resolved himself to do something about his dreams.
Gosh! Is it a month already? TV pisses me off so I don’t watch it, but I keep coming back to your podcast. Having guests has been a fun element.
Relative to the demographic on Grommr or Beefyfrat, I’m old. But in spite of the occasional “No old creepers” kind of line in a profile, I don’t really feel any age discrimination. If a guy puts an age fence in his profile, he’s actually sharing more information than most!
That is an excellent way to look at it—keep things positive. We’re glad you keep coming back to listen. Let us know if you have any topics you’d like to have discussed or if you’d like to be on the show! Thanks for listening, — Gain Tirade
Thanks for another good episode this week and I appreciate you taking the time to dedicate a whole show to encouragers. A lot of interesting discussion and since I was the one who initially raised the topic, I wanted to give some feedback.
I think one area where at times the discussion felt offputting to me was when it entered into generalizations. I know that’s something we as human beings often do, but I think Pete your first question(which you later qualified) to Filmcub was “So what’s your take on encouragers?” I don’t think that question can ever have a fair response (positive or negative). It’s like saying, What do you think of white people? Or what do you think of women? As a category, it’s too broad and diverse to have a consensus.
I think the discussion about feeders and encouragers was very well placed. There IS a big difference. I’m not a feeder, but definitely am an encourager and I know plenty of gainers who do not like being fed. While there are different reasons for this, I’ll give at least my own as to why I find it a turnoff (and yes, I have fed guys and oh, the stories I could tell you … ) The main reason why feeding doesn’t interest me and others is that in the world of gainer fantasy (namely fiction), the process of feeding literally can happen in eight words: “He ate the entire cake in two minutes.” And it took me 2 seconds (literally) to read that. So the act of feeding in gainer fiction is both quick and almost instantaneous. In real life, this is obviously not the case. Chewing takes time. Completing a meal takes time. Personally, I get bored. And of course, to top it off, unlike in gainer fiction, the person does NOT gain 5 lbs immediately after finishing said cake. Of course, for some guys, the amount of time involved is the turnon itself. But it’s not that encouragers are “failed” feeders, there are many more factors involved.
I think your discussion of encourager “involvement” is, for the most part, on target. Rick says as much in the documentary Hard Fat that for encouragers, they can walk away from the whole gaining milieu since they’re not getting fatter. Very true and accurate. That does not mean though that many of us are not invested as I think was sometimes insinuated.
I was also glad to hear that the flakiness cuts both ways. It does. I know flaky encouragers and I, like you, Matt, have been stood up by gainers on multiple occasions. I think the issue that remains though, is not just one of decency, but one of “balls” and truthfulness. I think Filmcub complained of those of us who sometimes bemoan when people don’t meet. I’ll admit, I get tired of it myself sometimes, but if you think about it, the “craziness” is sort of built into the system. If all these guys have profiles up saying that they want to meet, that they want to go on dates, that they are up for a casual encounters, and then NEVER FOLLOW THROUGH, how can one not be driven a little crazy? As much as it frustrates me, I actually appreciate the guys who are upfront and say “just looking for chat” or “don’t want to meet.” Do I think it’s sad? Yes. But honest? Most definitely. Peter and Filmcub are most correct that just as in any community or scene, sendng someone a message that is overtly sexual or doesn’t even have common decency won’t be taken seriously. Often when I write people, if not right away, then very early on I do ask people if they want to 1) chat by phone or 2) if they are local, meet for a drink or coffee? There are some people who only want to chat online. Personally I don’t think chatting online is the best way to really get to know someone. If there is interest, I think meeting in a safe public place and chatting, seeing if there’s chemistry, should be a no brainer. But it’s sad to me that people who think I’m asking them out for a drink right away think I’m desperate or just looking to jump their bones. The truth is, life is short and there are MUCH better things I could be doing that chatting on line, like fostering real friendships, having real life experiences, or should I be so lucky, developing a relationship with someone.
Which brings me to my final point, i thought it was a little simplistic to say that “open relationships” are easier. I have not been in one, but I know people who have, and it sounds like anything but “easy.” I don’t think any relationship is easy, but I think given how (yes, I will now generalize myself) screwed up the gaining and encouraging community is at times, the possibility of two people with this interest finding each other are very slim. Yes, you (Matt and Pete) have succeeded at this and all I can say is, you’re VERY lucky. Enjoy it. But I don’t think it’s the average. I’ve been in this community for almost 15 years. I’m very personable, well educated, put together, and to some, even cute. But to get guys who want to meet up with me, let alone build a relationship, is rare. I think you said it best on the podcast, Pete, when you said something like, the guys who contact you, you KNOW they want to meet, even though they may be too scared to do so. And that’s the kicker. I want to meet and have put myself out there and I think it gets hard and frustrating when you don’t get that in return. The point I’m trying to make and this actually takes us full circle is that we (the gaining and encouraging community) might actually be healthier as a whole if people met up more frequently and took a chance because rather than settling for a “muggle” as Filmcub hilariously calls them and having to have an open relationship or cheat on their muggle partner, gainers and encouragers could actually find each other, date each other, and maybe even find happiness in a relationship. But insofar as we all stay hidden and “safe” behind our faceless pics and chatting, this option becomes non-existent, contributing to the defunction that often exists here.
Whew! Talk about rambling. I hope you forgive the length, but since you’ve taken the time to make the podcast, I thought a response would be good. I’m glad you’re making these. I wish Grommr or Beefyfrat or someone would give them more prominence (have you talked to their webmasters?) as you are engaging topics that more people need to think about.
We’re glad you enjoyed the most recent episode—both Fenrir and yourself expressed interest with the topic of the encourager.
We don’t think we generalized the encourager. Gaining and encouraging is a fetish and within that there are roles we choose to take. Sometimes they overlap but, otherwise they are fairly defined. We were asking for a general response to get into the topic which we believed was answered and qualified as you state. Wearing the badge of an encourager so tightly akin to who you are seems somewhat trite. Either you are or you aren’t, enjoy it, its not meant to be a serious title, so we find it hard to compare it to asking, say, “How do you feel about women?” Its broadness can only be determined by the governing attitude that is purveyed in the current community, and that seems to be either you are an encourager who likes to verbally encourage, feed, or both.
Feeding is something that either you enjoy or don’t. However, thinking that because within gainer fiction there are instant gains while in reality there aren’t as a qualification for why people do usually go for that side of the fetish, is generalized. There could be various reasons people don’t enjoy it, take filmcub’s response for example. We don’t think that it is necessary to feed, but as they say, “don’t knock it, till you try it.” It may be boring to some, others may not want to get dirty—we were joking.
Perhaps instead of asking people to meet up early on, allow them to get to know you for a few days—try to compromise, being overtly direct can be harrowing to some, especially in message form. Or maybe use Skype as an alternative to be able to talk face to face. Chatting online shouldn’t be discounted, you can still find out a lot of information about someone. Skype can only enhance that experience and allow you become more familiarized with your potential date, friend, etc.
As for open relationships, that is simply a matter of opinion. We feel open relationships are easier. You do not answer for each other’s actions, the bond may be there, but to enjoy the carnal pleasures with others at will, to us, shows lack of connectivity and sheer force of will to commit to a situation. We are lucky in that we have found each other, yes. But before gaining and encouraging, its us, as we are, and for the duration of our relationship it always will be—that is not a rarity, that is hard work. Without commitment, there is no singular bond. That said, there can be many forms of commitment (an understanding) and you can build a life or a relationship out of that, even in an open relationship, but, it is not the same, and to us that is definition of easy.
If you want to meet other gainers in the area, attend one of the grommoffs. You’ll meet people there. Trying to meet people online singularly is fine, but take the initiative and join in on one of the community events (we’re sure you have), but come back.
As far as being more integrated into the main sites, we prefer to remain singular and retain ownership without affiliation to one of them.
Great podcast. A few comments. 1) Given this topic of fantasy vs. reality, I would love to see a further discussion of why many guys just won’t meet up in person, especially ones who claim that they want something real. 2) While I agree that it’s maybe not cool for someone to make a Youtube video with someone else’s photos OR for a media program to use a Youtube video in a broadcast, the simple truth is that the notion of privacy has totally gone out the window in the internet age. Thus, even things we think are for private consumption/use are no longer purely so. It’s why (maybe ironically so) I am happy to post a face picture of myself, but do not feel comfortable taking or posting any pics that would reveal something compromising about me. (Brett Favre anyone???) 3) I thought the discussion of sexual desire and meeting up was quite interesting. First, because few people talk about it, but second, because I think by framing it in the way you did, you make a case for meeting people in the flesh and forming community’s even when sex isn’t on the table. Even when I offer to meet people for a drink or coffee, I get no response which baffles me.
Finally, as maybe some topics on a future podcast, I’d like to see these issues. 1) The role/treatment of encouragers in the community (ok, ok, I’m being a little selfish here), but from my standpoint, I often feel like a second-class citizen, so to speak. 2) The ongoing, never resolved topic, about what does someone who is a gainer (or encourager) do if they are in a relationship with someone who is not in the scene? How do they meet their needs/negotiate this?
First thank you for listening and sending feedback, topics, and suggestions, its greatly appreciated!
Guys who flake out when attempting to meet up, (specifically gainers); I believe it has to do with the fantasy. Having it become a reality (getting fatter or larger in any way) is to alter your physical appearance. Our culture is one that is obsessed with out appearance, and when a gainer or someone who aspires to be a gainer begins to take on that challenge, they are more than likely met with disapproval from various parties. And, while you are offering simply to meet and would probably provide some sort of comforting buffer zone, it may be that the gainer is mulling over in his mind, “why would they like this?” Or, it could be they are simply too afraid to actually meet or just a complete ass. There are a myriad of reasons for men to flake out on dates. When sex IS on the table, that is a pressure to any man. They wonder if they can measure up to your standards and the fantasy that may or may not have been setup prior to an actual meeting—that, in and of itself can be detrimental to a meeting. Talking about gaining is one thing, but when you make it overtly sexual, that can cause a build up of fantastical notions that may never come to fruition. Once that moment is over, they may consider they’ve had their moment—while that’s quite shitty in my opinion, keeping it platonic at first may help. Now, conversely if you’re simply trying to meet a new friend, for coffee or just a drink, and they refuse to respond or stand you up, that’s just an asshole and completely not worth your time. There are unfortunately a lot of people without enough know how (balls) to simply say, “I’m not comfortable meeting up yet or at all.” My suggestion would be to soldier on, you will eventually find someone willing to meet up.
I agree with you about how privacy is no longer really “privacy.” However, in the gaining community, which is quite small (even though it is growing, har-har), the pictures are always there, the videos are always there. Saving them and using them for your personal use, whatever…that can’t be helped. But, there should be some sort of understanding, be it written or not, that not everyone is accepting of this fetish and it may be detrimental for you to post someone else’s likeness—causing a breakdown of trust, self-esteem issues, and maybe even a loss of a member. It should be taken somewhat more seriously.
Thanks again for your suggestions, we really appreciate them,
I know I’ve talked to you guys a couple of times i am so glad you guys are doing this! -virtual hugs- The only question i got for you guys is what is your favorite “gaining” food ?
(jkkr on grommr)
I don’t believe we actually have a favorite gaining food per say. When we engages in the physical act of feeding, its usually some form of comfort food, such as, a dense cake, like a pound cake. Its never really the same thing. Sometimes its a few boxes of Little Debbies or a bag of cheese puffs. Its all about indulging yourself. Eat what you enjoy the most, and a lot of it.
Even better on the second outing I think. Thanks for doing it!
I think you could have been more direct or forceful about the basics of gaining weight. In my experience, it’s not as fickle or mysterious a process as you make it out to be. Sure, there’s a lot of guy-to-guy variability in the details, but there are still some useful principles that I think work for anyone.
Calories count. You have to eat more than you burn or you won’t gain weight. Not fat. Not muscle. Not nuthin’.
Count calories. Add up what you eat when you’re not gaining. Chain restaurants publish calorie charts on the ‘net, and most groceries show the calories on the label. Total the numbers up for a day’s eating and you have your balance point. Once you know your balance point, if you can add 500 or more calories a day consistently, you’ll see yourself put on weight. You don’t have to be obsessive to get pretty good at being sure you get 3500, 4000, 5000 or whatever calories a day.
Gaining is scientific! (sort of…) Finding your balance point and getting beyond it takes some trial and error. “I ate a ton” means something different to every guy. Eating til you’re not hungry any more just won’t get you fat. Even feeling too full may not mean that you’re eating enough to gain. Feeling full is your body’s natural way of staying at its balance point. It really helps to get into the tastes and textures of food, and to try eating more when you stop being hungry and have to put some effort into it. Some guys are naturals and like the experience of overeating and feeling bloated, but but most of us have to learn to do it and gradually adapt to feeling overstuffed. Once you make a strong connection with feeling that way and the weight you put on, it can feel pretty good!. In any case, you’ll make the habit of eating more than you used to.
Some facts are true than others. You’ll get 3500 calories out of burning a pound of fat, but there’s some overhead tostoring a pound of fat on your body. The average guy in his 20s will have to eat about 4200 extra calories to pack on a pound.
What you eat makes a difference. Pete’s not the only one who gets fat on carbs. Since your body can’t store carbs, if you eat a lot of them, there’s a good chance that your body will store the excess as fat. Back in the 60’s the government started recommending a diet where most of the calories came from carbs. Back then, about 9% of men 20-34 were obese. Today, almost 25% are. Carbs work. In particular, refined carbs work: white flour, white rice, white sugar and all the things made with these ingredients. Think pasta, bread, cake, cookies, donuts and add in things like potato chips, corn chips, ice cream, chili and stew if they appeal to you.
Fat is your friend. It’s the densest source of calories. A tablespoon of sugar (all carbs) has about 45 calories. A tablespoon of butter (mostly fat) has about 100, and a tablespoon of olive oil (100% fat) has almost 120. Even peanut butter packs 95 calories a tablespoon. A stomach can only hold so much, no matter how hard you push. If what you eat is deep fried, rich with butter or slathered with the dreaded mayo, you’ll be getting more calories in the room you have.
Timing is everthing (or at least something.) I can’t say it’s made a difference for me, but I’ve chatted with several guys who say when you eat makes a difference. One couldn’t get his weight to budge until he started stiffing himself right before bedtime. He used candy bars—a magic combination of refined carbs and fats. Though not gainers, the fattest friends I’ve had habitually skip breakfast, and often skip lunch. The end the day starved, eat big and go to bed full. Probably, my fat friends were born to be fat, but there are worse examples to follow if you’re trying to get fat yourself!
Solitude sucks. Keep looking for a connection with an encourager who “gets” you, even if it’s not a romantic or sexual connection. For me, being ordered to eat, eat, eat is a non-starter, but being appreciated for gaining, getting some coaching to push my limits, and having a “wing man” when it seems like my order at a fast food window or restaurant is embarrassingly large has been a big help. I managed to put on about 80lbs flying solo, but eventually lost 50 of it. With some encouragement, I put it all back and have gotten 125lbs over my starting weight at times.
Thanks for the response and thank you for the facts. It be would rather difficult to squeeze in and rattle off numerous facts and numbers while also trying to carry on a meaningful conversation. However the question was directed at how Pete gains weight and what works for him. On that basis, the question was answered, if it had been a generality, as in, asking what works best for all, that would have been entirely too broad a spectrum to answer. Counting calories is a bit serious for us as well. There is no real time frame to reach the goal we’ve set. I enjoy cooking and I enjoy the fact that Peter enjoys my cooking—that being said, if he gains weight from it great, however our gaining approach is mostly based on our sexual experiences. While he eats a few large meal every day and snacks constantly, I’m not really overly concerned if he gains a large amount of weight at one time. We’re enjoying the ride—since once we reach that goal, gaining will no longer be an active lifestyle and will take on more of a social role. Finding how the community works for you is best. I agree with you on finding an encouraging friend. I should have mentioned that in the podcast. It does not have to be romantic to fulfill your needs. I focused on that, because I see so many posts on the websites about looking for “love” or partners etc. As far what’s in the meals I prepare, I’m fairly confident that they are doing the job. :) Thank you so much for the words of encouragement they are richly appreciated, Matt&Pete